F/X

Have you ever seen the classic that is "I Dismember Momma"? It's a belter - all down to the amazing creative skills of visual effects man "Rollie" (Bryan Brown). At least, the US Government think so and so they engage him to help out faking some evidence of murder for a man they are subsequently going to put into witness protection. Meantime, New York's finest "McCarthy" (Brian Dennehy) is investigating that very crime, but he can't quite get to grips with why his federal colleagues are being less than helpful. As the story develops, it becomes quite clear that none of this is on the level and there is blackmail, extortion and real-life murder on the cards and pretty swiftly our faker is having to use all his skills and wits to keep himself alive as he hasn't a clue whom to trust. The audience knows a little more about who is pulling the strings than he does, but that doesn't really matter as the whole thing sort of splutters from the far-fetched to the downright silly, especially towards the end when his handler "Col. Mason" (Mason Adams) shows his true colours. Brown fitted the bill in "Breaker Morant" (1980) but otherwise I never quite knew why, aside from his looks, Brown made it on the big screen at all. He has a glint in his eye, but his acting is about as papier-mâché as many of his props and he delivers the pedestrian dialogue just as statically. It's a fantasy adventure in all but name - just add a few bullets, a fake moustache or two and lots of rain. Maybe next time don't opt for witness protection, just go sit in the Colosseum - it'd be safer, and certainly more fun to watch.